My friend, without trying to be sarcastic, girls like that have only one word spelled on their foreheads: trouble.
I had a recent bad experience too with a girl, but when I come to think about it, she’s not all that great. You know what they say, love is blind, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ever open your eyes and see the harsh reality.
For instance, something that may help is thinking about the positive assets you have. In my situation, I had these feelings for a girl who at first was gentle and kind, but later, without any warning, she started to care less and less about me, began to not reply to my text messages, left me hung-up for my entire summer vacations without saying a word, and when I returned to school for class and saw her again, the guilt could be smelled miles away… I couldn’t figure it out and she was too much in my head, so I started going nuts and decided It was all or nothing. I told her how I felt about her and got a big “no”.
But it’s kind of funny actually, she said we’d still be friends, but the way she treated me dragged our friendship in the mud, and she is now one of the persons I have less consideration for.
In fact, it seems to be almost like a tendency in women. At least for me. There was another before this that completely ignored me after I confessed what I felt for her and she said no too. In my life, I’ve loved 3 women, and only one of them I can consider a righteous person. Probably because she is in the military and lives up more to her ideals than these two.
But the point was, since our friendship was being dragged in the mud, I started to have the least consideration for that girl. You know why? Because when I see what I can do and she can’t, I feel lucky that she wasn’t the one for me: I can cook, she can’t; I clean the house, she doesn’t; I have good marks at college, she has flunked sometimes and has to repeat a few exams; she drinks, I don’t; she would be helpless if she was left without her parents to support her, I wouldn’t. All in all, I see things this way: if this wasn’t the woman for me, it’s because I deserve better. She’s the one who lost mate, because when it comes to that, nobody ever loses for love.
I understand your situation, and let me tell you, It really reeks. But surely you know other women who work, who aren’t slackers like your ex, and that can be better mothers than her, if a family is what you have in mind.
As for your fear of seeing her with her boyfriend, your fear resides in the fact that she was the person that was closest to you in your life… But that was SO FAR. Now, she has made her bed, and you let her sleep on it. It’ll be hard at first, there’s no doubt, but you have to be strong and let her go, FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. The moment you start seeing other women, it’ll get easier and easier for you. One thing is for sure: don’t do anything that might draw her back, or you’re in for more trouble. Your life is your life, she doesn’t have anything to do with it any longer. Keep all your dates private. If you get a new girlfriend (which I hope you do) she should be aware of all these stories, because if that girl is going to be wondering around the place you live in, she might attempt to wreck everything with your new girlfriend, for jealousy. She will eventually be proven wrong. But she doesn’t matter to you anymore, your life is yours to live.
She should be seen as History. And a bad one too. Sorry man, but sometimes you’ll have to be cold too.
So try to live your own life now, try to find another girlfriend, a decent one, and forget about that lousy good for nothing piece of meat that dumped a decent working man for a satanist smoker. Self esteem is something you need to keep as high as possible. Remember: if this wasn’t the one for you, it’s ’cause you deserve better.
The promise you made assumed your friendship wouldn’t be a bitter burden for you to carry, but it became a bitter burden and that was her fault, so the deal is off, being she the one to blame.
Finally, I’ll quote one thing that Yajirobe told Yamcha in Dragon Ball Z Budokai 3: “There are a lot of fish in the sea”, and I’ll leave you with an old Portuguese proverb that says this: “Mais vale só, do que mal acompanhado” (Translation: “Better to be lonely, than to have bad company”).
I wish you good luck, and may you live a happy and peacefull life with whomever you chose to be your companion.
Chin up =)
“Dingo” (alias), Portugal
Honey, if you don’t like it, don’t read it!
. PS ive done A LOT of stuff for her and i really want to tell her a bunch of stuff but i need to do this on like some sort of date or get together because i have a lot of stuff to discuss with her.
